Since from the child, I don’t receive a lot of love and fair treatment, so I hope I can do something great to receive more love and recognition from people. But God created me in a very soft character which I don’t like about myself so no matter how I want to be strong, how I want to be successful, I am still an average and ordinary person. I can’t become a person I dream to be, so I feel useless and find no meaning in my life, this had made me went into a very depressed stage. Even in my marriage, I expecting to be a loving couple and good in every way that everyone will envy us, but it also does not turn out to be in this way too. I continue to seek for more worldly things which can content the emptiness and desire in my heart but it leads to more problems, went into deeper sin which almost destroy my whole life. When I find no meaning in my life, God spoke to me thru His word and spirit and said, ‘I am, who I am. You are created to be in this image, and the promised I’ve made for you is true.’
From then, I was thinking that why I’ve to struggle to change myself to be different in character which God has already created me in this way , why I’ve to chose a path which does not meant for me, ‘I am who I am’ so I just be what I am and humbly before God. I started to seek what’s the purpose of life that God had created me in this way. I realized that I had once dislike my character, my weaknesses, my past failure and my marriage, all these are called to become the secretary of the church and to be use by God. Pastor said, ‘although women have a lot of weakness, but it is a virtue that able to have more compassionate for people so we shouldn’t feel inferior of what we are’. I’ve also realized that to have a blissful marriage is to submit to my husband just as I submit to God. When I know the role that God has created me, my relationship with God becomes closer and able to enjoy His deepest love and greater blessing and live a more meaningful life in Christ.
Pastor also said that only ‘Gospel can change everything and when we continue to listen to His gospel, we will become more like Christ model’. So I hope through the message, all of us will discover God has created us with a position (God’s glorious child, man, woman, husband, wife, mother on earth) and in each of our role, every weaknesses, family and work, we will surely live a blissful, full of evident and purposeful life. 🙂
在我小时候，我没有得到很多爱和公平的待遇，因此我很希望我能做一些伟大的事来得到人的爱和肯定。不过上帝创造我是一个很柔软的一个性格，我很讨厌自己这个样子所以我无论再怎么努力要变强或成功，我还是一个很平均，普通的一个人。我不能成为我梦想/理想的一个人，所以我觉得我很没用，觉得生命中没有意义，这已让我走进一个很郁闷的阶段。即使在我的婚姻里，我期待自己拥有象个恩爱的夫妇和在各方面，每个人都会羡慕我们，但这也没变成我想要的结果。 我继续寻求更多世俗的东西，让我空虚的心灵和欲望能得到满足，但它导致更多的问题,走进更深的罪恶里，几乎要摧毁了我的生命。 当我发现在我的生命中没有意义时，上帝接着他的话与圣灵亲自对我说，‘我是自有永有的’，又说，‘你现在的一切都是我创造的形象，而我所应许你的都是真的。’ 从那起，我继续思想我为何一直在挣扎要改变自己成为不一样的性格，为何我要选择一个不属于我的路径，’我就是我了‘，所以我只需做我自己而谦卑在上帝面前。我开始寻找上帝创造我生命里的目的是什么。我发现到我一向来讨厌我自己的性格，我的软弱，我过去的失败经验和我的婚姻，这一切是上帝要使用我，叫我成为这生命堂的干事。牧师说到，’女人虽然有很多软弱，但这是一个美德，是叫我们更加有怜悯人的心,所以我们不需要因自己的条件而自卑’。我也发现到要拥有一个幸福的婚姻，就是能够顺服我的丈夫，正如我顺服上帝一样。当我知道上帝创造我的角色时，我与上帝的关系变得更紧密和更能享受祂最深的爱和丰盛的祝福，而在基督里活得更有意义的生命。
牧师也说到，只有‘福音才能改变一切而当我们继续听这福音当中，我们便能更加有基督的楷模’。接着这个信息，我们能发现上帝所创造我们的本位 (上帝的荣儿女,男人,女人, 丈夫, 妻子, 父亲，母亲) 而我们的每个角色，每个软弱，家庭和工作里，都将有个幸福，更多的见证和更有目的的生活。:)
In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD. And she made a vow, saying, "O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head." <1 Samuel 1:10-11>
Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." <Luke 10:41-42>
They all joined together constantly in prayer, along with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brothers. <Acts 1:14>