Everyone comes from different backgrounds, different character, different education, different gifts, etc… No matter how different (good or bad) we are, Immanuel God is with us, the ‘Holy Spirit’ in us is the same that no one can take away. Through the Holy Spirit that illuminate us, we realized ourselves were a great sinner but this also bring us more hunger (closer to God) to God and this is the greatest gift that God had given to us. With this greatest gift, all our differences we were once feel inferior of are able to give thanks and also had become the greatest blessing to the people around us.
As I’ve shared before that I’m always wanted to be successful and I always have this inferiority. Because of these, things that can be seen has become a comparison to other peoples. People who are good at studies, work, characters, relationship and also people who are rich, when I see all these, it makes me unable to see myself as an important child of God. I also never think of myself is good in anything, people may said that I’m good at this or that, but deeply in my heart I don’t feel in that way because of this comparison and inferiority. This kind of feeling is really terrible and torturing that I’m unable to control or hypnosis myself not to think in this way. Then one day, through many problems, God let me see how great a sinner I am. A sinner that are not worthy but yet completely loved and accepted by God. When I sees how God loves me with His unconditionally love, the inferiority and comparison has disappeared, because I see how important I am in God’s eye. This has also brought me to see that everyone has the same spirit like mine, weak yet so loved by God, even they are better than me but I’m able to give thanks to God for them. Although Satan still attacks me at times, just like Pastor had shared, when I confess ‘Jesus is my Lord’ who is all my problem solver, I am able to give thanks to God and tell satan that, ‘Yes, I am weak. Yes, I am slow. Yes, I don’t have high education. Yes, I am not rich. Yes, I am not so vocal but because of all these, God loves me more, bless me more (wisdom, power, testimony, spirit fruits, etc… ) and most importantly, God will use me with my ‘differences’ to comfort and bless people.
I am still learning in this area but God reminding me, ‘No matter how weak you’re seems to be, how different you are, how insignificant in man’s eyes, I want to use all of these to uplift you, to show how you are loved, blessed, and use for world evangelism’. So each of us are unique and special in God’s eyes, even if we are the smallest, God will use us miraculously to be able to bless and comfort many of those who are the same as us. I hope we are able to have the victory in this area so let us continue to rely on the Holy Spirit, pray and ready our heart to fight this spiritual battle.
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
<2 Co 12:9-10>