Every humans needs love, to love and to be loved but many times we are deceive by worldly love. We all know that God’s love is the greatest and the truth but why am I still feel not happy and contented enough. I was pondering, what is true love? What is the true fact? Why I do not have that kind of blissful love that everyone seems to have? Why to love someone is so torturing? Many times I expect love from people but it becomes disappointment. Many times I want to love but become with conditions, therefore it makes me really unhappy. Yes indeed, all these love comes from ourselves, so it’s all wrong. That is why Christ came and die for us on the cross, to show His greatest and unconditional love. Through Him, we have His spirit in us to be able to love God and love men. But how to be able to love God and men? Then I realized one true fact, I can’t love is because I can’t see how God loves me, I can’t fully accept His love for me. Why I keep expecting the kind of worldly love is because I didn’t see that kind of love is a poison to me. The love that does not comes from God is a poison to my mind, my spirit and my relationship with God, thus it will leads to unhappiness in my life. God has shows His greatest love to me, He forgave my deepest sins whereas men unable to forgive. He loves me with no expectation from me, except He want me to accept His love, but men love has expectation. God loves my inner heart, but men only loves my appearance. God understand me the most, but men only can understand by their own knowledge. Previously I can’t love my elder brother, because his behavior is extremely unlikable, likes to tell lie, always so smelly, not mature, lazy, inconsiderate, selfish, smoking, etc…,there’s nothing good about him. But until one day, I see myself also not much better than him, or even worse… And most important is, God loves him more than anyone else. Because he has spiritual problems that not he DON’T WANT, but he just CAN’T. I myself have so many weaknesses but I just CAN’T change. There are so many good things about God, so many loves from God, why do I continue to reject Christ loves in me. God has already forgive my sin, thus I must forgive myself too so I kept reminding myself not to fall into satan trap. To feel loved and forgiven by God is the most important than anything I need on earth. Because when I am forgiven, it is when I see God’s greater love in me, thus I can love my brother and the people around me, they also need God’s love and need to be forgiven too. I admit I still have this struggle and difficulties, but God put me through in many struggling, struggling with my inner weaknesses, struggling with family, struggling in my serving…etc.. all these struggling I faced is because He wants me to experience His love, His grace and forgiveness to me so that I can be truly happy, truly loved, truly forgiven and God will use all my struggling to become a blessing to the people around me.
Let us not to seek the worldly love. Let us not to blame ourselves. Let us not think of what to achieve or what to do. Let us look up to the MYSTERY OF THE CROSS which has the fullness of TRUE LOVE and COMPLETE FORGIVENESS…ACCEPT IT and we will find ourselves in peace, joy and full liberty in our spirit. We are not perfect, that’s why the more we need God. When we have the willing heart to love God and men, this shows that we actually love God, one day God will surely fulfilled and restore us with the true relationship in God and men.
Here’s a song from 1 Corinthians 13; If have everything but have not love, I am nothing. Only Christ love never fails us, even sometimes we have failed God, even sometimes we are limited but one thing that we know and remain is faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by abolishing in his flesh the law with its commandments and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new man out of the two, thus making peace, and in this one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility.