We have come to the last message of “Know Matters of the Spirit”. I have received a lot of grace but also with a lot of spiritual battles. Sometime I feel there are too many words of God that I need to learn, to believe, to confirm, so that my mind overflows and I end up not knowing where I should begin with. However, Pastor mentioned to us, “Just do the right thing first”. The very first right thing to do is to see that my “spirit matters the most”. This is God is most concerned now.
When I am busy, down, trouble or happy… what is the state of my spirit? Sometimes my spirit is easily affected by the situations, the conditions and the problems I am facing now. Sometimes I will ask God why His perfect will is so hard to understand, and why it is so difficult to restore my faith. This has made me unhappy and I need to target what I need to do as the right thing first. Not my situations, my conditions or my problems, but what is the state of my spirit right now? Is it filled with accusations, worries, guiltiness, inferiority, fear or is it filled with God’s love, mercies, forgiveness, promises and visions? Yes, I know God loves me, God wants to use me but why am I still looking at my bad conditions? Why am I still feeling so accused? Why can’t I judge the things I see and encounter even now?
Although I know some God’s words, they do not always manifest the power in my spirit and sometimes I just cannot see and hear. Why is this so? “SIN” is the problem. Everyone will sin – small sins and big sins, but no matter whether it is a small or big sin, it affects the state of the spirit. Sin is not only what we have done physically or mentally because we will commit it again, but the problem is the disbelief spirit in our heart. The continuous disbelieving spirit will result in the consequences of the spirit of worries, accusations…etc. God has already forgiven and solved all our sins, and for those who are in Christ, there is no more condemnation but the only reason we have the disbelief spirit is because of Satan deception.
From the recent messages, I realized God’s most concern in me now is the sin in my heart, God wants to drive away all the disbelief, and drive away Satan’s deception through the “mystery of confessing sin”.
I would like to share a familiar scripture from Psalm 51 which Pastor always shared with me.
This is the Psalm of Repentance of King David.
1: Have mercy upon me, O God, according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.
2: Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.
3: For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.
4: Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.
7: Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
9: Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.
God knows we will sin again but God’s most concern was our spirit. Do we have the joy and peace? Sin has causes us to lost the inner peace and joy, therefore through the confession, our peace and joy will be restore.
8: Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.
10: Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
11: Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.
12: Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.
Those I’ve highlighted: You will receive “joy”, “gladness”, bones you have crushed rejoice”, “clean heart”, “right spirit”, “holy spirit”, “joy of salvation” and “free spirit”… This is result of confession that we will experience the Joy of Salvation in Christ.
13: Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.
15: O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.
16: For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering.
17: The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
When we experience the Joy of Salvation, we will be like a light to the world; God uses us not because of what we do but a “broken & contrite spirit”.
We, blessed children will continue to have spiritual battle in our lives but in John 16:33 it said, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I HAVE OVERCOME the world."
Yesterday I’ve read Romans 7 again. I have many struggling in my spirit just like it said in verse 14-19,
“We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.”
But in verse 20-21 it said,
“Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.” – God is confirming to me that my inner most spirit delight in God’s law but because there is an evil that is Satan who keeps deceiving me. So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law;…”
The law is good and I should delight in God’s law but somehow there is an evil that is Satan who keeps deceiving me so it is not me, but Satan deception.
Then in verse 24 it said, “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? “ – After all the struggling, I realized I cannot solve it with my strength, my knowledge or my conscious because I still live in this body of death.
Finally in verse 25 it said, “Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! ….
In Christ, we are free from the law of sin and death, free from all the guiltiness, accusation, fearful, inferiority…etc. He has overcome this world, the power in our spirit has overcome all the spirit problems.
Yesterday I did a prayer to the Lord,
“Lord, I asked for your forgiveness and mercy again. I know I did many wrongs and mistakes but you never forsake me. I may still sin against You, I may still make mistakes and disbelief in You again, but I am willing to be cleanse, willing to hate the sin, willing to believe your promises for me and willing to let You take control of my life. Even when I am going to sin against you, please do not ignore me and stop me by all means. I thank God for everything. Let me continue to see myself precious in your sight, and through all the problems I’ve gone through will be use for your kingdom and your glory. Amen.
This is what I have been seeking and confirming these few weeks. Although there are many ways I am still not perfect, I will be weak again but the continuously repentant will bring me closer to God, closer to the joy of salvation and be use for His kingdom. “A willing heart” is all I have, even if I may fall again, the state of my spirit will change once I give myself to the Lord with a “A repentant and willing spirit.” His love, compassion and mercy will overflows my spirit. Do remember me in prayer for those who read this too. God bless. 🙂
Video (Chinese): http://www.lifechurchmissions.com/VideoWindow.aspx?m=835&f=2828