Here is the short video clip for last Sunday Message.
A new year has started, there are so many things I want to accomplish by this year but things do not goes well as what I have planned. It is more difficult to act it out than just a wish in my heart. The moment I thought the difficulty of acting out has lose my confident in myself. Since then, I started to dream of many unpleasant scenario, be it my past or my weaknesses… and slowly, my sleeping problems came back again. I couldn’t sleep at night so I tried to listen to some hymns, although it does not work effectively to make me sleep but at least it calms down my mind and spirit. In the beginning of the year, I think I give myself too much expectation and pressure, but I believe there is a great purpose and will through all these sufferings in my heart. I need to seek out the perfect will of God and I prayed to focus more on His words. I strongly believe all things God works for the good and the resolution list I have made this year, God wants to fulfil it and that is why I am facing all these struggles. And… I was right! This week message is the 100% answer and God’s perfect will for me. The “heart” is everything, when the heart change thru the gospel, everything will be different.
Last Friday, I went to watch a midnight movie with WG, the movie was called “Seasons of the Witch”. At first I wanted to watch a romance movie but it does not show at the cinema we went so I have chosen this show. I believe this is God’s will and planned for us to watch this movie. The story was about a medieval knight named Behmen who fought years of battle as a crusader. However his faith was broken because he accidentally killed an innocent girl which he realized this was not the will of God to kill an innocent civilian in a battle. He felt very guilty after the incident, vow not to serve the church except God and he returns to central Europe to find his homeland but found the country has taken in by a serious plague which causes many death. While searching for food and supplies at the Palace at Marburg, Behmen was apprehended and ordered by the dying Cardinal to deliver a young peasant girl believed to be the witch responsible for the Plague to a remote abbey where her powers can be destroyed. Behmen agrees to the assignment so he and five others set off on this dangerous journey. The peasant girl looked very innocent but she was a very cunning and no ordinary human. If anyone of them obstructs her plot, she will find all ways to deceive and kill that person. The fatal weapon she used is to deceive thru the person weaknesses. She will target the person greatest weaknesses to confuse their faith, their missions and once the person fall into her trap, she took his life away. (Well, if you want to know the ending story, you can go and watch. 🙂
The great impression of this movie is the girl as it reminds me of Satan. The struggles I am facing these few weeks are the deception of Satan. He can act innocent, like he is not involved. He uses my weaknesses to accuse me, telling me that it was difficult so just give up. He can act like an angle of light, telling me that God will understand so you don’t have to work so hard, just continue to live the way I like.The truth is he wanted me to waste my time away and distracting me from believing God’s promises. He confused and deceived me non-stop until I hear from God saying, “Child, quickly pray and come near to me, you should not doubt of my Power and My Love for you.” After I hear this, I have come to my senses, asking for God forgiveness and immediately Satan goes away.
The movie and the message of this week continue to relate my struggles all these while. If my heart finds God’s word is difficult, then it really becomes difficult. If my heart finds God’s word is absolutely the truth and belongs to me, I will find strength in God and His words for me are not difficult anymore because “God gives and fulfilled His word in me, not I ask for it to fulfil it with my own ability, but it is only thru the power of the Gospel”. I just follow what God had given me at my level of faith, and not to give myself expectation/pressure, because to do His will is not by my own strength/ability but most importantly is my heart always needs to be “Close to God”, learn to “Recognise His voice” carefully and “not quickly/anyhow jump into assumption” or I may fall into Satan trap again. I have learned to see thru my heart and spirit, not to face the weaknesses, not to face the inability to follow God/do His will, not to face other people, but to face God uprightly thru my spirit, to hear/see God’s words for ME. God always said to me, just “believe” and the power of His gospel will change my heart from stone to flesh, to heal and fulfil the gospelization in me/ family/ region/world. (And this is all about prayer with God, connection my heart and spirit with Him) Thru the message, I also humble myself, “what am I” that I can give/face God; Is it money? Strength? Good behaviour? Not to sin? Gifts I have…etc? No, it is my “heart”, a heart of God’s child that God yearns for and so do I.
Have you give all your heart to the Lord?
I suddenly remember an old song of “轻轻听“ which I used to sing and here I delicate to all of you.
See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power, and he rules with a mighty arm. See, his reward is with him, and his recompense accompanies him. He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to His HEART;
He gently leads those that have young.
Video (Chinese): http://www.lifechurchmissions.com/VideoWindow.aspx?m=889&f=3084